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Not Allowing Doubt to Debilitate

4 Feb

All day I have been stressing about it, thinking thoughts like:

–          Will I make it?

–          Will I puke? Because that’s gross.

–          Will I be the thickest one there?

As these thoughts spin through my head I hear my phone ring, yet miss the call. In a voicemail and unfamiliar male voice says “Hi Sydney, this is Daniel and I was just calling to confirm that you are still coming to the class tonight”. A million thoughts run through my head, but the first is a way out. How can I get out of this? I can cancel, right? But alas, I’ve promised myself that this is the last try.

Before class I found myself killing time and running a few errands with a slight twinge of angst about my evening, but still in the back of my mind knowing that this is something I have to do.

It’s 4:30 class time, I walk into the gym. For most people walking into a gym is a liberating experience, no? They do it for energy, or to look good, but for me it was like being completely exposed. As class began everyone joined smack dab in the middle of the gym. As we stretched I was still feeling a little nervous. Just when I began to feel comfortable, the trainer said “go for one lap” as soon as the last word left his mouth everyone in the class was running out the door. I ran too, about half way around the outside of the building until I thought I might lose enough air to pass out. As I was walking a million thoughts went through my mind, and the number one thought running through my mind was “how embarrassing”. There were women in the class that were double my age and taking it like it was nothing, and here I am sucking up air. As I got inside nearly defeated, God showed faithful even in my doubt by bringing s friend. I hadn’t seen her in a year, but remember her as a sister who has a beautiful heart for Papa.  Comfortable in having her as a partner for the workout we began the rotations. We jumped roped, hit a tire with a sledge hammer, rowed with weights heavier than my Bichon, jumped on a huge box, lifted a huge tire, did an arm thing with heavy ropes, did burpees(???), and planked out hearts out. After that we went out to “run” again and finished with more burpees.

When the workout was completed I can’t say that I felt successful. Truthfully I wanted to cry, and the thought of “how did I get this way?” crossed my mind.

On the way home I was thinking about weight and what a hold it can have on our thoughts. I know in my case that weight is an area that I like to call a “little-big”. My little-big areas in life usually involve things in my life that I think God doesn’t want to be bothered with. I brush them off by belittling them as things that don’t bother me, but often they are like icebergs. Meer hills above the surface, but colossal mountains below.

In my devotions this week I’ve been reading about God’s faithfulness and things that often come between us and God. Doubt is one of the things that distances us from God, that distances me from Him. Defined as a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction, doubt says that some things are possible when God says that all things are possible.

“The grand secret of conviction is to dwell first and constantly in the positive evidence of truth” – E. R. Conder and W. Clarkson

“Our faith is nourished by developing a strong sense of God’s acting in the past, so that we begin to count on Him to act consistently with His character in the future- again, and again, and again” – C. Donald Cole 


Bulkin’ It Up Asian Vegetable Soup

31 Jul


While I’ve been a hot mess in the eating department, I knew I needed to start the week off right! So I cracked open the good ole’ Weight Watchers “Getting Started” booklet and created my own version of their Vegetable Garden Soup. Seeing that Southern California is going through a pleasant summer storm, I figure “why not?”

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Asian Vegetable Soup (Makes 6 Servings – 3 Points Plus)

4 Carrots (diced)

1 Onion (sliced)

3 Cloves Garlic (minced)

1.5 TBS Sesame Oil

1 Head Cabbage (sliced)

2 C Spinach

3 Zucchini (large dice)

3 C 100% Fat Free Chicken Broth

2 TBS Teriyaki Sauce


In a large pot sauté the carrots, garlic and onions in the sesame oil until softened and fragrant (5 min).  After the carrots and onions have softened, place cabbage, spinach, chicken broth, and teriyaki sauce in the pot and bring to a boil. When cabbage has softened, put zucchini in the mixture and simmer for 5 additional minutes. Enjoy with sriacha, green onions, pot stickers or add a little protein and toss some chicken in.

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Summer Rule #1 – Laying Out is NOT a Sport

13 Jun

Oh the sweet tranquility of Summer break…

Today was my first true day of Summer vacation; while I love the extra couple hours of sleep and the freedom of running errands in the middle of the day, I must say that I lazed off on one two areas today. For someone who wants to lose weight to regain a healthy lifestyle, I sure didn’t show it in my eating or activity level. So this evening I drew up a little plan for this weeks workouts and eats.

You know it hit me like a ton of bricks this evening, thinking that I had all the time in the world to get to the gym or go on a walk yet didn’t put forth the effort. For being someone who desired to make a change, I certainly need to change habits. Which led me to a couple questions:

1) Why can I make the time and effort to go grab coffee downtown in the morning, but can’t drive myself 2 minutes away to the gym?

2) Why will I waste my time going out to eat when I can use the same amount of time to  create something both delicious and healthy at home?

These are both questions I’m going to think over this next week, because like I mentioned: I need to address and change these habits.

First of on my wonderful spreadsheet, I’ve included a workout plan. I’m jumping head first on this, because I know myself and know that I LOVE to feel the burn and not be able to sit right for a week. I’ve added variety, including a local walking trail, typical gym equipment, and group fitness. After reading Katie’s guest post on Beth’s blog, I felt really inspired to add variety to my workout plan of attack. I’m most looking forward to the Latin Heat on Saturday, because this girl ain’t got no rhythm.



This second spreadsheet includes my eats for the week! Once again I’m going for variety with a big blob of simplicity!


Being a Planner

22 May

After reading numerous post by the great encourager, Beth, I have decided that I need a meal plan Monday too! So today I sat down and plotted out my week of eats. As of tomorrow I will be in full journaling mode, meaning I’m documenting everything that goes in and will count every single minute I spend at the gym! But for now, I’ll just share my food plan for the week.


Get Up and MOVE!!!

16 Mar

After a long terrible gym hiatus, I enjoyed a lovely time on the elliptical this afternoon. After arriving home, I began thinking of the splendid things. Like Summer :) 


Like baby watermelons

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Green faced dogs

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Bare feet in the dirt.

Fat Tuesday

8 Mar

Okay so I’m not Catholic, but this year I will participate in the second Wannabe Lent with my coworkers. For this we basically give up something and keep each other accountable. This year I am definitely giving up sweets…again, and debating on cutting eating out as well. I considered giving up caffeine, but I would then likely go insane and become a huge nuisance to society 😉

For now it’s me and you, Grande Americano 3 pumps vanilla half water half soy. You never fail me 🙂

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So today I kept it real! I feel like I made some really good choices.

For breakfast I included this beautiful trio

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Lunch was very satisfying and included 1 Oarawheat Sandwich thin, 1/3 cup white chicken, 2tbs Greek Yogurt, Dill, pepper, and a broccoli slaw with Trader Joes Spicy Peanut Vinaigrette.

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After work I made the 30min trek to my orthodontist office, and I may  have consumed the yummiest froyo EVER!!!!

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Dinner was simple yet amazing! After a long drawn out separation, brussel sprouts and I have been reunited!

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I pulled out the stops for these bad boys. After halving them I set them aside and threw 5 cloves of garlic, evoo, red pepper flacks, salt, and pepper into the food processor and made the most heavenly mix! After stirring this mix and the sprouts I roasted them in the oven on 425 for 15+ minutes or until they look brown and crispy. After cooking a little chicken, dinner looked a little like this

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Yum yum!

Tomorrow’s Goal: add more veggies 🙂

Following through

7 Mar

Spring has sprung…well sort or. Today was day 1 of Utah State’s spring break, meaning that life is normal for the next 7 days. In need of a little starting-a-fresh, I deactivated my Facebook and vow to spend less time doing this






and this!


Definitely  need more of this:

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Def need to make one of these, yum!